Bannon Custody Battle

Bannon Custody Battle is the first episode of the comedic animated television series Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. The episode is a crossover starring members of the Quest Team.

The next episode of the series that features the Quest Team is 3.09 Return of Birdgirl. Before that, the Lizard Men return in episode 1.08 Deadomutt: Part 2, and Dr. Quest and Race have a brief background cameo in episode 2.08 Peanut Puberty.

Premise
Harvey represents Dr. Quest in a parental custody battle with Race Bannon over Jonny and Hadji.

Teaser
At their home in Palm Key, Race is cooking while Benton works. Race says he feels like the boys are his own, and he feels that being "like a second father" to Jonny and Hadji isn't good enough. He confronts Benton, saying he wants the boys full time. Benton suggests Race take a few days, but Race says he's taking the boys and walks out.

Act 1
Benton goes to Harvey Birdman's office and discusses the situation. Harvey says he'll take the case, but first he'll need to speak with the boys. He asks what their names are, and Benton can't seem to remember.

Harvey has a meeting with Hadji and Jonny. Hadji excitedly explains that "one minute, [he's] a penniless orphan stuck in a street-sweeping caste, the next [he's] on this really cool needly plane that goes very very fast, drinking cold American beverages." Jonny is less excited, and starts fiddling with things on Harvey's desk, like his name plate and a Newton's cradle, and he torments Harvey's blue hawk Avenger. Harvey asks about Race, saying he and their father used to be "buddies", and asking if Race has any new "buddies". Jonny says he saw Race talking with Dr. Zin, and Hadji says Zin is Dr. Quest's archenemy. Harvey gets irritated and tells Hadji to drink his juice box while Jonny fools around with more things from Harvey's desk.

In court, Race Bannon walks in with Vulturo representing him. Vulturo is Harvey's longtime rival, and he and Harvey have a confrontation until the judge calls for order. Vulturo makes opening arguments. He calls one of the Lizard Men to the stand who says that, from what he saw, "it was Mr. Bannon who was with the children the most." Vulturo calls up a number of antagonists such as the mummy Anubis, a sea creature, and one of Dr. Zin's robots, who all agree that Race is better suited for custody than Benton Quest.

That evening, Harvey, Benton, and the boys are at a bar called Bird Cage. Benton obliviously seems to think it went well, while Harvey is distressed. The bartender Stan serves all four of them scotches; when Harvey points out that the boys are only eleven, Stan puts cherries in their drinks. Benton is interested with his drink and holds it up to the light to examine it, not bothered that his sons have been served alcohol. Harvey shakes his head.

Act 2
The next day in court, Harvey calls Dr. Benton Quest to the stand. Harvey starts by asking about Dr. Quest's relationship, and before he can finish the question, Dr. Quest starts talking about his relationship with Race. Harvey interrupts to clarify he means with the boys. Dr. Quest says he treasures them and loves them dearly. He looks into the room and eyes two different boys, and Harvey has to gesture to the real Jonny and Hadji. Dr. Quest gets distracted talking about his scientific work despite Harvey's attempts to get him to stop.

Vulturo cross-examines Dr. Quest, asking if Jonny and Hadji know how to play baseball. Dr. Quest has to think about it, but he recalls an event several months earlier when Jonny and Hadji "were hitting a small white spheroid with a cudgel, bouncing it off the tractor beam housing", so yes, they know how to play. When Vulturo asks who taught them, Dr. Quest thinks it was Race, but he doesn't know why "bases ball" matters.

Vulturo calls Race to the stand and begins asking him questions. Race says he's known the boys for "four years, almost half their lives", and he's their bodyguard and tutor. Dr. Quest whispers to Harvey that "this doesn't seem like Race." Harvey notices an electric cord on the floor and follows it as Vulturo continues questioning Race, who says that he taught the boys how to drive a hover boat and how to tie a tourniquet. It ends with Race giving a moving speech about how much the boys mean to him.

Harvey is called to question the witness. Harvey again asks how long Race has known the boys, and he begins to answer just as he did before, "four years, almost half their --" and Harvey interrupts him. Harvey unplugs the power cord he followed, accidentally turning off the lights in the courtroom. He plugs it back in and unplugs a different cord, causing Race to jolt and slump over.

The judge demands an explanation. Harvey explains that a few months earlier during the "Adventure of the Sunken Deposit Box" that "Race mysteriously became left-handed" and replaced his slip-on shoes with ones with laces. A bartender gave Race a drugged frozen lime daiquiri during "The House of Tasteful Men" was the same man who created a robot replica of Race and programmed it to get the boys, and that this man is in the courtroom. Harvey asks the stenographer to read back what he just said, causing the stenographer to get frustrated with the machine and remove their blonde wig, revealing the stenographer to actually be Dr. Zin.

Vulturo runs out and Dr. Zin is arrested. A janitor plugs robot Race back in, and robot Race begins dancing.

Back in Harvey's office, Harvey tells Jonny and Hadji that their father loves them very much, but Jonny complains that "he throws like a girl", and Harvey suggests they give their father another chance. Dr. Quest comes in, calling Jonny and Hadji "Ravi" and "Jimmy", and shows them that he has Race on the video phone. He had forgotten that Race was on vacation. Harvey jokes that he doesn't know how Zin could have gotten such a perfect robot of Race without a "life-size body mold". Dr. Quest becomes serious, wondering/demanding where Zin would have gotten one of those. Race pretends that the signal on their call is going out and he has to sign off, avoiding the question.

Dr. Quest thanks Harvey. Bandit barks, and Avenger scoops him up like prey and flies out the window, and everyone laughs.

Characters

 * Harvey Birdman, representing the defendant Dr. Quest
 * Dr. Benton Quest, defendant
 * Race Bannon (robot impostor), plaintiff
 * Vulturo, representing plaintiff Race Bannon (robot impostor)
 * Race Bannon
 * Jonny Quest
 * Hadji
 * Bandit
 * Dr. Zin
 * Avenger, a blue hawk
 * Judge Hiram Mightor
 * Stan, bartender of the Bird Cage
 * Various cameos of Quest Team antagonists including:
 * Four of the Lizard Men from The Mystery of the Lizard Men, including one named Bill
 * The sea creature from The Sea Haunt
 * Anubis, the mummy from Temple of Anubis
 * Baron Heinrich von Fruelich and his dog Willy from Shadow of the Condor
 * A yeti with a fan, possibly the yeti from Monster in the Monastery, more likely from the fictitious episode "The Adventure of the Yeti Snow Princess"
 * Monster crab from Terror Island
 * Dietrich Sorenson from The House of Seven Gargoyles
 * Naktu from The Devil's Tower
 * Heinrich Von Duffel from The Devil's Tower
 * Korbay from The Dreadful Doll
 * One of Dr. Zin's spider robots

Locations

 * Palm Key
 * Harvey's office
 * Courtroom
 * Bird Cage

Notes/trivia

 * The episode references several fictitious adventures the Quest Team has had:
 * "The Adventure of the Yeti Snow Princess", mentioned by Dr. Quest as having happened a week earlier
 * "The Adventure of the Sunken Safety Deposit Box"
 * "The House of Tasteful Men"
 * When the Lizard Man "Bill" is on the stand, he says that it was Race who was with the "children" (plural) the most, but only Jonny was in the episode "The Mystery of the Lizard Men"; Hadji first appeared in the following episode.
 * The mug Race drinks from in the beginning of the episode reads "World's Best 2nd Dad".